Sexuality is something many of us find difficult to express or discuss. I think it's vastly important for us to understand its sacred aspects. Sex has a spiritual component. It is normal and desirable for sexual partners to experience deep melding, and a passage through worlds where they know not who or where they may begin or end. All this is a precious gift in addition to our biological urges which are pretty wonderful by themselves.
Our society is saturated, not in sexuality but in some strange voluptuousness that actually inhibits our experience of the spiritual in sex. In place of intimacy we are offered pornography, and in place of honestly connecting from the heart we are encouraged to focus on one another's bodies. I hate what it's done to both women and men. I stand for self-affirmation: I am the light as well as the beast within.
A trick I learned lately is masturbating the amygdala. I call it that mostly because this is the sexuality forum. It is masturbation in the sense that one deliberately gives oneself pleasure. Then again it is not, because it is nonsexual (well, mostly). It's a matter of definition - and of polite conversation. "Tickling" sounds much more proper. With practice this can be done anytime - continuously, I suppose - although I wouldn't recommend it while driving. I believe there are insights to be gained into sacred sexuality through stimulating the amygdala, though I don't think I can define them yet.
I did find the link to the site where I first read of this trick. It is here: http://www.mondovista.com/neil22.html.
I've been teaching this as part of what I call a One-Minute Vacation. So far, I've been thanked. Stimuating the amygdala is actually a LOT of fun and can supposedly lead to leaps of awareness when the frontal lobes and the limbic system suddenly click into synch. What it does mainly is create waves of intense pleasure in the brain. For me it travels down the spine and induces jerks in my body if I keep it up. My young friend Emily says it gives her weak knees and a fluttery stomach. And yes, there are some twinges Down There. But it's part of a generalized response, not a specific one.
My own One-Or-Maybe-Ten-Minute Vacation includes breathing Sacred Love with the conscious involvement of the amygdala. I find this experience intensely blissful and ecstatic.
I had an experience a couple months ago with a young woman I worked with. This woman is 30, married, and attractive. She's also someone I had a slightly rocky relationship with, and I think we're both aware that it's because there's what people call "chemistry" between us, an attraction that is off-limits. For the most part we've gotten along without problems. One day we both happened to be standing side-by-side behind a counter where no one could see us from the waist down. I suddenly realized she had moved over and was rubbing her hip against mine. It happened so naturally and seemed such a normal display of affection that it took me a moment to respond. I stepped away but made sure I gave her a warm smile, too. Later on I caught up with her on a smoke break, and briefly taught her how to breath Sacred Love. I'm glad I handled that the way I did.
Exploring our sexuality - and not talking about it - is a lifelong Big Deal for many people. If more people understood the sacred and spiritual aspects of sexuality they would spare themselves a lot of misery and confusion. This too is part of the new paradigm.