I recently experienced an evolution in consciousness, and as always, the Gathering Spot is my place of choice for sharing. Circumstances have given me the opportunity to take some time, step back from that thing that I consider to be me, and objectively assess myself – warts and all.
This particular dark night of soul-searching began when other G-spotters kept finding fault with my frequent posts. “How dare they criticize me when they have little else to say?” I had been sharing things with heartfelt passion, yet I was being misunderstood and was even perceived by some as being “angry.” After careful consideration, I had to admit they were right about the anger. I had become frustrated and impatient with what I perceived to be their apathy. My attitude showed in my writing.
I share this with you now because I recognize that I'm not the only one here who is wrestling with these types of challenges. These are troubling times for all of us. There is uncertainty about our future on Earth... and even about the planet herself. Emotions are high; anxiety weighs heavy in the air. Our beliefs and convictions are constantly being challenged, rearranged, upended. As Dylan said, “The times they are rapidly changing.” Herein lies the lesson within the problem. When we are so staunchly attached to our own beliefs, we may be incapable of seeing other truths emerging. When the mighty winds of an age are shifting (as they are now), the rigid Oak tree is likely to be uprooted, while the flexible Willow bends with the wind and lives beyond the storm.
I reasoned that if my ego were not involved, other people's criticism of me wouldn't hurt so much. If sharing my information and opinions were truly an act of altruism, then it must come from beyond any need for approval or appreciation. If my motivation for posting was indeed to benefit the Gathering Spot readers and if my efforts were not well-received, then who was I serving? If my words were unwanted, I had to be willing to let them go. This was not easy to do, but the choice was clear. If my views did not fit the Forum, it was time for me to go elsewhere. Or I could let go of expectations and soften my approach to better facilitate communication. The choice was with me. Any change required was mine alone.
It took some time for me to get over the hurt, to let go of the anger, and come to a place of peace. Most everyone wants others to agree with them. But how silly is that? How boring would the G-spot – or the world be for that matter -- if everyone's view was the same? I thought of leaving for good, that it was time to move on to another phase in my journey, but I kept coming back to read posts. In my absence, the Gathering Spot had regenerated. Members who rarely posted came out of the cobwebs and had their say. Though part of me winced that I hadn't been missed, another me beamed with the excitement of change! The G-spot was evolving, just as I was evolving.
I have always learned so much here, how could I leave when so many others had so much to offer? Over time, I've grown to know many of you like my brothers and sisters. And just like family discussions over Thanksgiving Dinner, we don't always agree. Sometimes we have squabbles. We have different viewpoints on politics and religion. We walk different paths and experience individual rates of growth. We have different ideas about what the major problems are and how to fix them. In the end though, we all want pretty much the same things – peace on Earth, prosperity for all, the end of injustice and inequality, etc. Sometimes it's hardest to accept differences in people with whom we share the most in common. That's one of life's funny lessons.
So... I realize that by sharing my innermost thoughts with you now, I'm leaving myself more vulnerable than ever to criticism. But that's so like me. I've never been one to do what's best for myself to the exclusion of everyone else. If my words help just one other person, then it's worth the scorn of a single star vote or a few words of rejection.
Another lesson learned. Each of us is a mirror unto the others. We rarely recognize them in our own reflection, but if we're honest, we'll see each other in ourselves.
Thank you all for showing me what I needed to see.