Sacred Ayahuasca Journey
Here's my daily diary entry from a powerful sacred journey with Ayahuasca I experienced on the summer solstice with a number of good friends last year:
June 21: Wow!!! What an amazing sacred ayahuasca journey!!! Nine of us, including [several of] my dear friends ... were led by a wonderful couple ... through a powerful, heart-opening journey this evening. I had many, many powerful openings, experiences, and realizations. The overall theme for me was about the power of we. In the past on these journeys, I have left the physical realm and my Earth friends to soar to far, expanded realms and dimensions. This time, though I could easily have gone there again, I chose to largely stay with my wonderful friends both in the group and in my life on Earth. So much deep love and joy I felt between us all! Wow!!! Many thanks to you all!!!
It was such a powerful experience that the following day, I wrote down many of the amazing thoughts, experiences, and revelations from the journey. Here are some of the gems I wrote down from that experience, edited for clarity:
We started with some sacred ceremony. I called in my life intentions. Less than half an hour after drinking the magical brew, all of a sudden the medicine hit me and my whole body went limp as I broke into a cold sweat. From feeling great, yet still pretty normal just a moment before, I found myself suddenly presented with the pain and suffering of all humanity. Not only was I presented with it, I was asked to take it on and experience it!
The thought of taking on all human pain and suffering was overwhelming, and I almost threw up. I didn't know if I could or even if I wanted to do this. I then knew it was time to open to my deepest intention of what's best for all. Once I surrendered fully to what's best for all of us, I realized I did not need to personally experience all of this pain and suffering. I was willing to see it, but did not need to feel it. Once I made that choice, I no longer felt a need to throw up - or purge as they call it at ayahuasca ceremonies. In fact, I saw that I am already aware of all this, and I started feeling really great!
My body was completely slumped over on the floor during this opening experience. The ceremony leader struggled to get me into a sitting position as I faced my demons. I had not the least inclination to sit, but after he literally pulled me up and back into my backjack, I was fine staying there. Once I was alone back in my chair, I soon felt a pull to travel to far, expanded dimensions. Yet unlike previous sacred medicine journeys, I chose this time to stay on Earth with these good friends present in this physical reality with me.
I set my intentions to focus on connecting with my good friends in the circle and all in my life on Earth. Each time I started to travel away from this reality, I opened my eyes to come back into communion with this wonderful group. As I connected with everyone present, I felt all beings aligned consciously with All of Us move me and flow through me. I set an intention to frequently stop and feel all of these beings flowing through me and into our shared space. I opened to channeling their collective wisdom.
When dolphin and whale music later came on, I immediately felt their presence right there with their strong community consciousness. I felt clearly that I am a part of this great fluidity in which the communities of dolphins, whales, and many others flow. I have always known I was loved by all these beings - and my cuddly mom. I saw the dead dolphin on the beach in Bali before interpreting for President Bush, and it was me! I felt I came from the dolphins and was offered by my pod to leave the water and go up on dry land to bring the message of interconnectedness to humans.
A while later, I was thrilled to enter a place called the Sacred Temple of Me. And what an awesome, beautiful temple it was! Yet then I moved even deeper into awe as I expanded beyond the Sacred Temple of Me to enter a temple far more magnificent - the Sacred Temple of We. Both of these temples are extremely profound, yet the Sacred Temple of We is so much more splendid as it gloriously interconnects with all of the Sacred Temples of Me.
In the Sacred Temple of Me, self with a small "s" is given a voice to express it's frustration, rage, and other difficult emotions along with anything else that is there to be expressed. All parts of the self, the good, the bad, and the ugly, are deeply honored and welcomed there. Once small s self is fully expressed there, it then opens to connection with Self with a capital "S" and enters the Sacred Temple of We. In the Sacred Temple of We, the greater Self is integrally connected to all beings. In this most fabulous temple, I simply experienced on the deepest levels "We Are Here."
I saw on this powerful journey how we abandoned humans, and in so doing abandoned a part of ourselves. We once were a united group of grand beings having an incredible time exploring the mystical harmonies of the universe. As we left on these explorations, we allowed parts of ourselves to drop off and explore the worlds of chaos and separation. In our magical journeys, we then completely forgot about all the beings who left, yet who were once so a part of us. We forgot about these others who chose the path of separation as we dove ever deeper into bliss. These many forgotten others somehow chose to fall deep into pain, suffering, and even torture in their explorations. Yet we all allowed this to happen. We didn't even realize what we were doing to each other and to ourselves.
At some point as I was experiencing profound sadness over all of this, I began the beautiful, four-step practice of Ho oponopono for this entire situation: I love you, I'm sorry, please forgive me, and thank you. I felt fully my/our love for these lost beings. I felt my/our sorrow for allowing this to happen, and then asked for forgiveness. I gave deep gratitude to all of these beings who were willing to leave bliss and explore the huge challenges of separation for all of us.
I saw how at the deepest levels we are all creating this together in order to experience all possibilities of existence. By choosing to forget about these lost parts of ourselves, we allowed them to experience tremendous pain, hatred, anger, and suffering. They did it for all of us. I saw so clearly that it's time to invite those parts back, to invite reintegration of all parts of ourselves. There is no need to suffer now, as they have already done it for us. And they are we. And we have been and are them. Yet those who want may still go to those challenging places if they desire. We are all at choice.
I saw how negative judgment is a potent separator. Any of us can choose in any moment to live in judgment and separation, or to live in the paradise of loving connection with all around us. I reaffirmed my clear intention to choose to see the beauty and perfection in all beings and in all of us without denying or ignoring the suffering. When I can see beauty and divinity even amidst the chaos and suffering while holding a place of compassion, I experience paradise. I am living in heaven on Earth.
I saw so clearly how I can surrender to any experience, yet I get to choose how I interpret what happens. I can choose paradise right here and right now. I experienced how we are all part of the same divinely interconnected being looking at itself through our different eyes. We are each integral cells in the collective body of the All That Is.
I saw how the earth is now like a womb about to give birth. The planet is going through the difficult pains of a mother in labor, yet something glorious is just on the other side awaiting us. I invited us all to play a part in this sacred birthing process. We are all midwives to the process of creation that happens in every sacred moment of this eternal now. When we choose to be conscious of even these deep levels, we can't help but come together in greater harmony and integration, even as we honor and celebrate the uniqueness of each one of us.
At one point I recalled how because of my deep spirituality, a few friends have suggested that I get an Indian sounding name. In the past I had not at all been interested in this, as I have no desire to be any kind of guru. I like the name Fred specifically because it does not at all lend itself to the title of a guru or spiritual teacher. Guru Fred? You've got to be kidding! Yet on this journey, I found the perfect name if I had to chose a spiritual alternate to Fred. I feel in fact that it is my real name. My real spiritual name is We ;o)
At one point, a flowing, heavenly female spirit came and invited me to expanded realms as a reward for all my transformational work. I went along for a short while, yet before long I asked to come back. I really wanted to stay here with my friends. I already knew that heavenly place, as I had been there before on other journeys.
I saw how I am my intentions. I saw how the light is not so much in me as it is in my pure intentions. As a gift for my deep, pure intentions, I was very moved to be given the keys to the Akashic records. Yet then I was shown, too, that in reality, the only real keys to this library of all knowledge are a pure desire and intention for what's best for all. This pure intention naturally gives clear access to the core divinity of all beings and all knowledge.
I experienced the sacred tone of equality mentioned in the WingMakers material. I felt a desire for us all to sing together and tone into each other and with each other. Let's create tone pujas. Let us sing ourselves to paradise! Let us sing together an invitation to all to join in the ecstatic harmony of our deep interconnectedness.
Yet I felt no attachment to making this happen. I knew without doubt that eventually, we will all join in a dance of sacred harmonies in the perfect time and space. Maybe we all are already part of this dance, and it is simply up to us, and even up to me, to recognize this fully. Once I/we truly get this, we will be transformed. I got how it is my work to increasingly see and feel this perfection on ever deeper levels here and now.
I felt so much gratitude to all of my wonderful friends and to all of us for choosing to dance and play together in this grand cosmic unfolding. I decided that I wanted to find ways in my life to dance and sing more, even while honoring the work I do for its clear sacred intent. I felt how humor and fun are essential ingredients to transformation. I felt so much gratitude for my life, for our lives, and for all that is. I could so feel that on the deepest levels every one of us is always held in sacred embrace by the collective love of all of us.
What a rich, powerful journey! The incredibly expansive experiences and realizations continued to reverberate through my being for quite awhile. In fact they have become a part of who I am, even though on the more superficial levels I am still a ways from fully realizing that deeper level of interconnectedness. I know there is no rush. I have only to keep opening to all of the richness that is right here and right now, no matter what might be happening around me.
How blessed I am to have this awareness. I express deep gratitude to the powerful spirit of the Ayahuasca medicine for this incredible journey, and to the two guides and many others who made it possible. And how I would love to share all that I experienced, and in fact all that I am, with all around me and with all beings. I so want to share all the joy and blessings with which I am showered. I love my life, and I love all of us! Your sacred love flows into me. My sacred love flows out to you. Thanks for joining me on this most profound journey back home to all of us.