Religion and Frustration

Good morning, all.

I had the radio on this morning on my way to work, and heard a disturbing blurb on the news about the Vatican.  It really got me upset, so I just wanted to vent for a second.  I know you'll not take offense or misunderstand me.  :)

In support of full disclosure, I am a former Catholic.  The last time I went to weekly mass was the Sunday before they elected the current Pope.  The man gives me shivers (the bad kind).  

The Vatican is now pulling out some little known legal ruling from the middle 1960's to protect themselves from being held accountable in the hiding of sex offenders.  Apparently hiding sex offenders whose prey are minors are not specifically mentioned in the court ruling, so the church's behavior is A-OK.  They also say that the bishop who was a convicted sex offender is not "on their payroll", so the Vatican cannot be held accountable for his behavior.  

Given all that, doesn't all of this legal maneuvering fly in the face of common decency, no less religion?  Am I missing something?  They know that this behavior is wrong.  Why wouldn't they throw themselves on the mercy of the courts, and vow that it will never happen again?  Isn't that what a good and moral person is supposed to do when they know they have done something terribly wrong?  How could this be any sort of moral model for anyone?   (OK, the Catholic church has never been a fabulous moral model for anyone.)   How can so many millions (billions?) of people line up behind this behavior and say it's ok?  I'm so sad about it.  Perhaps it's the slap in the face that many good Catholics need to wake up to what is really happening in the world, but I'm afraid it won't work...  Most folks don't think too hard about the religion they were born into.

As the cherry on top of this hideousness, the pope made some big proclamation this weekend about gay marriage being an "insidious threat".  Two people standing before God and country to pledge their lifelong love to one another is an insidious threat... but the church's most honored men touching little boys and damaging them for life isn't.  He needs to get the log out of his eye before he starts trying to get the speck out of anyone else's.

Ok, team.  Sorry for the Monday morning rant.  I just needed to express, and hopefully hear some feedback from my peeps.  :)  Sending you all peaceful vibes and many blessings.  

Much love and light,




Berry's picture


Thanks for your venting. It galls me too!  Being gay, and having just experienced the end of a 31 year relationship of love and oneness which was honorable, respectable, and more an example of a perfect marriage than 90% of heterosexual marriages, I am disgusted with the comments of the Pope and for that matter, most churches in general, for the way they denegrate loving homosexual relationships and deny those people the rights that straight couples take for granted.  It is not gay couples who are causing this kind of thing, but sick individual who have no idea what true Love is.  There are very few single gay people who are child molesters. It is as abnormal for gays as it is for straights.  Unfortunately there are those isolated psychopaths/sociopaths, both gay and straight (often those in the clergy) who do molest and abuse children of both sexes.  My suggestion to the "Holy See" is to do away with the enforced celebacy and allow the priests to have their marriages of which ever type so they can enjoy the blessed sexual pleasure that God designed humanity to enjoy.  The Episcopalians seem to do quite well that way. (At least those who are not so "anally retentive". LOL

Enough said.



ChrisBowers's picture

Goes without saying, but so glad you did.  Maybe it is a blessing in disguise because we as an evolving humaniod species are at that place when we need to abandon the saviorship model that weened us and move on to Self Activation and Response-Ability.

The good news is we will find that all we clung to and were afraid to give up, the cause of so much fear, will prove to be nothing but our imagination entertaining pet fears.  Let the liberation begin!

Ahhhh man(kind)

ksaulino's picture

I've believed for years that there are simple solutions to what is happening in the Catholic church regarding sexual perversion that seems to proliferate.  First, allow women to become ordained priests.  Women are traditionally more heart centered, and are often well suited to the ministerial role.  Second, allow any ordained priest (or brother or nun) to choose to marry if they would like to, or to remain single - their choice.  Allow these jobs to be jobs, not some spiritual calling that requires their entire lives.  A doctor has a calling to become a doctor, but he's not expected to give up all his worldly possessions, and all his free time to do his job.  If there are issues with what happens if there's a divorce, then there needs to be a pre-nup than says that the church's wealth is not marital wealth.  I think this does a few things... adds to the total population that are willing to become priests, and gives the church the opportunity to weed out sociopaths, as there will be more than enough people applying for the jobs.  My theory is that these sick and tortured souls go to the church to hide - thinking that a life of celibacy may spare them from the black urges that they know are so wrong.  Then the church puts them in situations constantly that temp the urges out of them - dealing with alter boys in private settings, interacting with school children on a daily basis, visiting sick children in hospitals.  We don't even hear about the consensual sex that is happening behind closed doors between priests and parishioners.  I imagine that's a HUGE can of worms that no one's willing to discuss.

I will also say, in general defense of Catholicism, and to be fair, I grew up in a very Catholic setting.  My two oldest brothers went to seminary for high school and one went to college in a seminary.  We had mass at our house on more than one occasion.  Priests over for Sunday breakfast.  I've never encountered a priest that was inappropriate with me.  I have never heard stories within the confines of any of the churches I attended throughout my Catholic life that would suggest "things" had happened.  I witnessed one priest who was clearly sleeping with one of the parishioners (confirmed later, when he quit the priesthood to marry her, after her disabled husband passed away), but no pedophilia.   I kind of assume that we hear of these cases and it feels prevalent, but it's not everywhere.  

Much love and light,


ps - Berry, you, among other friends were first to come to mind when I heard what the pope had said this weekend.  It sounds like you and Ray embodied exactly what a good marriage should be.



JoshERTW's picture

I haven't been following the whole catholic church scandal stuff all that closely, its disturbing stuff to say the least and I know to try and follow it will undoubtedly stir up plenty of negative energy - also it seems to me there's another nail in their coffin every week with regards to some new story coming out about abuse, or some high ranking member of the church saying something severely offensive. I think this intensification of scandals leaking out is just the natural unravelling of the old control structures. Maybe its even being engineered, helping pave the way for some "new" religion they will want to force down our throats once Disclosure occurs - theres that negativity welling up already...  I haven't ruled anything out, the church is powerful, they still control the minds of many many people, and its gonna take alot of this kind of stuff leaking out to break that control.

But on the plus side I know its happening, I know very few people in my generation who grew up catholic and stuck with it in any meaningful way (myself included). My parents generation had less of this, but they were certainly part of the "first wave" of deserters I think. Interesting times... I can't end a post these days without saying that. Its becoming sort of a catch phrase haha

Brian's picture

   I'm so sickened by the irresponsible way the church is handling this horrifying scandal. But they're behaving like anyone with high-priced attorneys. As I recall when some dioceses (local areas) of the church were successfully sued by victims, they went bankrupt-churches closed. I can only guess that they are trying to keep the church from being sued clean out of existence.

Kathy-I was so sad when Pope John Paul died. He had touched my heart many times and I wish I could have told him because he made the world a more tolerable place to live (and I'm an ex-catholic for crying out loud!). After years of mental anguish under George W. Bush, when I heard John Paul was being replaced by a crotchety, die hard conservative (he who's name we do not speak)my heart sank. Not only did his face make me think "EVIL!" the moment I saw him, but he has turned out to be a divisive, insulting, bigoted man and now an enabler of the abuse. The worst man for the job.

 His generation being tapped to be Pope is about to end. With it, we will see the last pope with a guilty stake in the worldwide child sex abuse scandal. But the generations ahead will be completely unable to relate to the shame and guilt and bewilderment that led people to hide the reality of it-especially from themselves!

They are guilty and they must pay-and I wouldn't want to walk a mile in their shoes!

Wendy's picture

Hi All-

Kathy, I think you are very brave to bring this topic up. Now that it's been opened up I'll put in a plug for mine. I think there is a fundamental flaw with many religions and governments in that they try to over control. I'm not a Catholic but my impression is that they have many rules - this discourages parishioners from thinking for themselves and creating their own sense of morality. It also tends to attract people who don't want to think for themselves or take responsibility -"Just tell me what to do, I don't care what it is - just give me some assurance that I'll go to heaven when I die and that I'm a good person and leave me to my football game." Lack of freedom (lots of rules) encourages dependance on the thoughts of others - Freedom with only a limited amount of guidance or suggestions forces people to think harder for themselves to learn what is right and encourages people to take responsibility for their own actions. It's so much easier to justify bad behavior if you're used to or trained to dismiss your own thinking.

The first religion I found that I was happy with was Quakerism because it has little or no rules, other than that you should listen to your own conscience and think before you react to people. I'm currently a Unitarian Universalist - they have a similar philosophy but I would still be a quaker if there were a meeting closer by because the quakers really take it to the extreme of not having any leaders at all - each member is responsible for the quality and governance of the meeting they attend and all decisions are made by consensus. Like all religions, it frequently doesn't live up to it's ideals but it'a a start. I'm also proud to say that both religions are very accepting of homosexuality - I'm thrilled that our new assistant minister is gay and that our little country UU church has a good mixture of gay women and men.


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