Heartfelt Plea on Behalf of Those With Disturbing Sexual Fantasies

Hey beautiful friends,

It is with some trepidation that I am choosing to share the most vulnerable article I've ever written below. It may change the way you see me, yet I ask as much as you can that you hold what I write with compassion. The topic is disturbing and inappropriate fantasies (mine included) and a call for help for those who are tormented by them. Please note that this article and the website on which it is posted are completely separate from my work with PEERS. May this essay serve to start what I believe is a very important and needed conversation.


With much love and hope for transformation,

Starmonkey's picture

Thanks, Fred. Very courageous of you. I'm not sure there are any "normal" orientations to sexuality anymore. And the isms don't help. Sexism, ageism, etc...
Also the repressive society we inherited from Victorian days causes many problems.
Wilhelm Reich studied orgone and how its exchange is free and easy with children. It's why we love them and are attracted to their energy, if we're not controlling or manipulative. They're how we used to be...
The "native Americans", I gathered, had over 240 different types of sexuality they honored or respected. WOW.
Anyway, if we had been allowed to grow up more freely and naturally and experiment and experience, things would be much different. As it is, too much is focused on SEX instead of energy.
No solutions here. But love and understanding. WE can be there for one another, but don't look to psychotherapy for answers.

fredburks's picture

Thanks for your wise words and support, Chris. And yes, there is so much focus on sex in our society, yet most of it is unhealthy. If we were all brought up in a sex positive environment, I suspect we'd live in a much more kind and gentle world. Take care.

Wendy's picture

Thanks so much Fred,

As I read posts about the ellite paedophilia I know that we all need to heal our own sexual deviations to really heal the world so here goes....I hope what you say about sharing will help with the healing. I also hope that if more people bravely share it will help us all heal.

I myself have struggled almost all my life about inappropriate sexual fantasies connected to food and over eating / binging. While my binges seem to get more brief as I get older, there are still times that I eat only to get a sexual high. I'm not really sure what has caused this in my life but without going into details that are not really mine to share, I can only say that I'm pretty sure there are other members of my family that had the same issues. The combination of sugar and fat reacts like a powerful drug in my body. Kind of a tough thing to take in a world that is so full of this food. I'm figuring there must be a lot of other folks who react this way or why else would those foods be pushed so much when they are so unhealthy.

I know how important it is for our spiritual advancement to get over these addictions / sexual deviations. There is a lot of fear in me connected with sharing this but I know logically that this community has been very supportive and so I hope that others will brvely offer their stories. I think the best support / help we could hope for is to know that we are not alone in these problems.



fredburks's picture

Thank you so much for your vulnerable, heartfelt sharing, Wendy. And yes, I have no doubt that you are not alone in this. If we all shared our sexual fantasies, I think almost everyone would be shocked at how strange and even twisted many of these fantasies are. And I have no doubt that as we start talking more openly about these very sensitive, yet very important issues, healing and transformation will happen. Thanks again for our courage.

Starmonkey's picture

I just finished reading Lolita. Tragic comedy, that. How revealing of our culture's hang-ups and misconceptions. What a hot mess.

Seriously, though, without a village, we're all in our shady little boxes peeking through the cracks at the world.

Ready to knock down some walls and fences?...

The Gathering Spot is a PEERS empowerment website
"Dedicated to the greatest good of all who share our beautiful world"