Need Some Guidance here...

I feel recently like I'm just going through the motions, waiting for something to occur. Analyzing the news and world events and looking for links to the coming changes is nearly all consuming to my mind at times, and going to work and getting through the day is seeming like a monumental task, and an equally large drain on my energy.

That being said, I have what would probably be considered a "good" job. Better than most people my age, but its at a small company, and there are downsides to that. For instance I work an extra half hour per day compared to my friends at most bigger companies that do the same kind of work. Doesn't sound like much, but its literally the difference between walking home in sunlight and going home in the dark.

Anyways, I feel at this stage in human history I should be spending my energy "fighting the good fight" instead of just going to work day in and day out, trying to get ahead in a corrupt social structure that (with any luck) isn't going to be around much longer. I have a family to support though, and I do feel that I've been put on this path, worked where I have and ended up where I am for a specific reason... I guess I just need to see some sort of sign or get some reassurance that I am doing the right thing.

Any suggestions?


Hey Josh,

I might suggest forgetting the outside world, ending your FIGHT of the good fight and just being yourself. Self is somewhere between the mind and heart, the place where the two start to work together in much mind will distract/decieve you just as all heart will. 

I am just gettng ready to start a new job in Feb, like you I have always worked for small companies, manufacturers in my the last place I was at I used to do and hour to an hour and a half extra every day..luckily I lived close by and didn't lose anothe hour in travelling...Australian's actually work the longest hours in the developed world and I am hoping that I can get around this at my new job  It is with the largest furniture manufacturer in Oz.

I work to live and not live to work and am totally inspired by people who work for the love of's weird because I do love to work and be a part of something but the system is so onesided, I don't think anyone like being taken for granted or worse still straight out ripped off and I find it is hard to deal with especially when you don't have a family, mortgage responsibilities and my own side business  has always led me to quit jobs if I felt I was being whipped and this has probably cost me much....

I hope I might have triggered some new thought for you, the answers are always within us.....good luck dude, I have felt very similar to what you descibe many times and for me it pretty much ended when I completed the course and stopped trying to understand things that couldn't be understood until I had seen the bigger picture. Nothing surprises me or gets to me like that now, not to say I don't get into it occasionally but now it is a game...a game I play with myself...




Wendy's picture

Hi Josh-

I have felt like I'm stuck in a rut, just like you. The only answer I have, which is the same as Jez, is try to carve out more time in meditation, prayer - go internal. I have all your feelings and worse - being an American, my taxes are suppporting the evil empire! I'm lucky enough to have my house paid for (just last year it got paid off) and my family is grown so this spring I might "take the dive" so to speak and just quit and hope my husbands meager business, working for himself can support us. (He works as a mason which means only during the summer and when it isn't raining out). Fortunately, he stayed under the radar, and doesn't pay taxes so we will be tax free if I go through with it and can figure out a way to get some under the table income - probably selling vegetables from our garden. In the meantime I will spend more time in prayer for us both.


Litha Moon's picture

 Hi Josh,

       I have gone so far into absolute rejection of the values of our society, the monetary system etc...That I am now wholly dysfunctional in our society. I am lucky that I have a family that needs a sitter, a talent for writing fiction, and truly very little need for material things. I live on 500 dollars a month and my rent is 450 plus do the math...I used to live a very opulent lifestyle by world standards, hardly so, by North American standards. You must be absolutely certain about the path of chosen poverty so to speak, it is quite isolating in many ways. I would imagine that when people refer to me the word eccentric is probably not uncommon. For me personally certain indulgences could not be reconciled with my core beliefs...but I have never believed that this should be true of everyone, nor have I judged others whom still enjoy what I have put on my permanent "lent list".

PS Still recovering from the meat incident is as if I am at square one with cleansing my spiritual relationship with the other living creatures of this planet...see eccentric


fredburks's picture

Just by asking this question and opening to feedback, I think you are on the right track, Josh. I very much enjoyed reading everyone's thoughts here. I particularly invite you to open to any spiritual guidance, whether from within or without. You might even ask for a sign. And know that we're all sending you lots of love and support in this. Thanks for sharing so beautifully.

With sacred love and support ever flowing,

JoshERTW's picture

Well folks, thanks for the assistance, I enjoyed reading your posts and I think my guides/mentors/angels/whatever you might call them have responded. After dinner last night my wife and I watched Home Improvement on DVD (she got it for Christmas) - a feel good family type show by all rights, which seems much more relevant to me at this stage in my life than ever. We've been watching it every night and it always resonates in a positive manner.

More importantly however, and most likely with "a little help from my friends" I got a surge of creative desire after we watched a couple of episodes, and took to the guitar. I had been working on recording this one song for about a week now but had sort of left it unfinished. I ended up recording the rest of the instrumentals and it sounds great, I'm listening to it right now.

The song is called "Reptilians" and those of you familiar with David Icke's work will certainly know what its about haha. I think I met one once, though she may not have known she was a 'host' to one. I was in shall we say... an altered mental state when I saw "behind the mask" but it was so chilling and real at the time that I've remembered it to this day. No lyrics so far, just some good old heavy rock instrumentals. Sent it out to all my old band mates and some other friends with a (half joking, but really serious) description of the subject.

I decided before bed (couldn't sleep because the creativity just kept flowing) I'm going to work up a whole album based around concepts from "conspiracy" material you might find on Want To Know or Project Camelot or wherever. It will probably be a long project but I have another fully written song called "Phase Shift" which has been highly acclaimed by every fellow musician I"ve shared it with, and certainly follows the same line of thinking.

I even planned out a facebook group and website in my head, eventually I might sell the album online, which opened another line of thinking: I am sure I'm going to keep working anyways, if only to pay the bills and keep me in studio equipment (haha). Maybe I could set up a pay-pal sales service for the album and have a portion of proceeds directed to PEERS or Project Camelot or other worthy charities which inspired the music and set me on the path.

Anyhow, since my initial post I've certainly been conciously creating my own reality. I'm pretty excited about this, maybe the "album sales spreading the wealth" part is a bit far off / might not happen, but at least I've commited to getting this material written, recorded, and out there, even if its just free on Youtube or whatever for people to listen to and think about, and assist in the awakening process in my own way. Its good to have direction again, and amazing that I only lost it for a couple of days. If they hadn't just cut my number of sick days in half yesterday (and I hadn't already used one this week), I'd probably call in sick today! Haha, just kidding, but I have high hopes for the weekend as we haven't made any specific plans. Thanks for helping me get back on track everyone, I'm seeing the effects of positive intention manifest everywhere lately.

There is nothing to Fight against.  There is only that which to create that you wish to experience.  Opposition only creates that which you do not want.   

Poverty does not equal spirituality.  This is a lie that I for one am happy to no longer be part of.  Living simply means to live in harmony with self and others... what this looks like depends on what you are creating for yourself with others... Living simply does not equal suffering.  Suffering is the opposite of spirtuality and will lead you from that which you seek.


fredburks's picture

How great that your creativity is surging again, Josh! You rock - both literally and figuratively! I look forward to hearing your creations whenever they might be ready to share. Have fun with it.

With lots of love and support,

Waakzaam's picture

Glad to hear you are back in the groove.  It's great when the creative juices are flowing.  I'm looking forward to hear your music sometime.

Your question reminded me of a Buddhist saying that goes something like, "enlightenment is achieved by chopping wood and carrying water", which to me, it meas that karma has brought us to where we are.  Our own actions have created our present reality.  So, just do whatever needs to be done, however humble or seamingly meaningless it may seem to be, but do it well, and without resentment... from the heart.

A Buddhist nun once said, again paraphrasing, "in the overall scheme of things, all that we do is SO SMALL, but it is SO IMPORTANT that we do it!"  However simple it may be that we do, just giving a smile to a stranger, helping an old lady with the heavy shopping bags, serving a customer well, doing the billing correct, whatever... it is important that we do it and do it well.  From the present time.  Our future will be formed from the actions we take today.  Synchronicities will begin to happen more often, and you'll move into more pleasant and satisfying activities... I believe.

Anyway, success with your projects.

With much love.



The Gathering Spot is a PEERS empowerment website
"Dedicated to the greatest good of all who share our beautiful world"