The Moon Matrix and the Saturn Firewall

I hope that this isn't a duplicate post.  I couldn't get the search box to work.  This information may not be new to you (it wasn't for me), but I liked the video so much, I listened to it twice.

What I like about it is that David Icke talks about being "in the world but not of it."   In other words, we can still be aware of what is happening in 3D existence and physically take action without losing our non-physical perspective. 

Lately, this has been the subject of some debate on this forum, but it's not an either/or proposition.  We don't have to say that they're stuck in the "illusion of physical reality" or they've "drank the koolaid" because they're aware of some conspiracies in the physical realm.  Making other people wrong doesn't make us right.  We can disagree without being unkind.  None of us has all the answers.

While I hope that you find the subject matter interesting, I'd like you to notice how David comes from a place of balance between physical and nonphysical existence.


Wendy's picture

Sorry, I thought the video was missing but it popped up as I made this comment.

Starmonkey's picture

i'm glad you feel that way too, NOA.  it's what we've all been trying to say in our own ways.  you sort of "up the ante"  when you take quotes from people out of context and do that very thing you say others are doing to you.  and it's not the MATERIAL we were referring to, it's the ATTITUDE.  of superiority and possibly a pinch of righteousness thrown in for good measure.  i'm sure i have that tone as well, sometimes.  but don't take it personally.  this site isn't about YOU.  ALL information is welcome on this site, obviously.  and NO ONE will be censored ON MY WATCH.  so , don't make the mistake of telling others THEIR VIEWPOINTS are wrong and acting like you have some authority on TRUTH.  that's a SUBJECTIVE and not OBJECTIVE relativity.

maybe if i write and article or make a video and post it somewhere out there (under a different name obviously), you'll take what i say more seriously.  because, truly, in my mind, there is no debate.  it seems like blogging is just fools throwing their opinions around in each others' faces...  especially if they're not really sharing their own viewpoints, just arguing about the validity of others' (ref, above).  i look forward to the day when people start really sharing what's inside and how they perceive it all through their own lenses.  it could be so simple...

Starmonkey's picture

oh, and just so you know.  i'm not scared by ANY of this.  i have no fear of what's coming (and already here).  i welcome the change and am excited at the potential of our shared future.  there may also still be the "separation of worlds" THEY talk about, so i may not see you there...  but i would like to, to tell you the truth

Starmonkey's picture

now let me sit back and listen to this long-ass presentation of things i already know.  in fact, just to take a bit out of context, listen around the eleven minute mark.  like, REALLY LISTEN to that part.  just up until about the fourteenth minute...  let that set in.  it's on a video, so it must be true!

Starmonkey's picture

of course it keeps going...  up until the seventeenth and eighteenth and nineteenth minutes it starts to get REALLY REAL for us here on the old "g-spot"... ;)

Starmonkey's picture

and i really loved that movie they live.  great 80s stuff.  rowdy roddy piper up there as one of our forerunners of the g-spot

Starmonkey's picture

this was from around the 22nd-23rd minute.  got me thinking about time travel and the WM again.  and the old ACIO...  WHAT IF?...  those future scary domineering aliens that 15 and the labyrinth were trying to subvert through their mechinations (impossible, we know) by the power of thought and focus, drew that very thing to happen anyway.  they couldn't find a solution to the paradox of time travel and negative repurcussions, so they in fact attracted the dilemma for resolution.  because of some (mostly) still latent ability or power of humanity, we can't be outright "taken over".  also, that pesky little free will experiment, so this is still "of our choosing".  so, it happened ANYWAY, but we were made to think that we are not enslaved.  nice trick.  bigger than the money thing, for sure, but that's a major component that could start the wave of global realization, should people become aware...


Starmonkey's picture

around minute 32/33, etc.  talking about the technosphere and analog.  and how it obscured our view of "out there"...  the technology blanket of all of these electrical/magnetic/radio waves and signals constantly firing over our heads.  cuts us off from the rest of it.  when consciousness verges on the edge of critical mass, we have to know that perfect opportune moment to "pull the plug".  we can all do it individually if we spend some time out in the wilderness or farther from humans/city, etc.  but if we knew that right time to turn it off and leave everyone with just THEMSELVES and ONE ANOTHER.  and the sky as they've (mostly) never seen it before...  wow.

and we need to do something about that old moon, too.  give the old gong a BIG ring, and see what falls out

ksaulino's picture

I'm not really in a position to speak here, as I haven't been around the site for a long time.  That said, maybe I have a little more visibility to a trend that others who have been here all along may have gotten used to. 

At work, when two people have a thing going that's less than positive and productive for the collective, we ask that they take it off-line (iron it out without a full audience).  These sorts of personal differences often take away from the overall conversation and contibute to a lack of engagement across the entire team.  Net, people disengage because they don't want to witness discord among two teammates.  Healthy debate and disagreement are expected and cherished.  Throwing barbs and bickering are not acceptable.  That's in a relatively low frequency environment... What is it that's going on here?

Much love and light,


Starmonkey's picture

and this video's from three years ago.  things have been happening, since then...  but, i've got the moon in my sites, so i hope you women (that still have them) won't miss your monthly cycles!  ;)

time to kick off the old training wheel[s].  for me, at least.  i won't pretend to know what's best for everyone else.  it's (sort of) safe here in the pre-school!

Starmonkey's picture

you are correct, from a certain view, and i have wondered that some thing, but there doesn't seem to be an easy resolution to this dilemma.  i have enjoyed the concepts and topics discussed here, and it is all very interesting to me...  it has mostly forced me to look more at myself and how i communicate, because i'm not trying to force my views on anyone else.  just have some equal weight in the "playing field".  sorry to have upset anyone.  sometimes that is a necessary component for growth, but not always.  i hereby concede before i fall victim to futher conceit (mine or others).  thank you all so much for helping to open my eyes and ears more to see and hear what's really going on.  i wish the best and brightest for all

ChrisBowers's picture

Stick around Chris, at least to some extent.  Don't be put off by anything that sounds like contentious bullying or judgmental attempts to shut you (or anyone else for that matter) down.  This kind of shit's been going on ever since monkeys jumped down from the trees to smell and sample those funny looking mushrooms growing on top the animal dung, and has certainly been going on since the beginning of the Transformation Team forum which is now the G-Spot.

We even had a Coyote Den to honor that part of the collective monkey mind that is still a part of who we all are collectively.  We may evolve to a place where that is not even in our collective consciousness anymore, but we are not there yet.

We need free thinkers here - primarily because people that are not members still get to read comments made in these forums.  If they're sincere seekers with critical thinking skills they are sufficiently equipped to parse the comments and separate the wheat from the chaff.

If they are not, than they have much bigger problems than the occassional possibility that they may be put off by a string of slightly contentious rhetoric from a few sparring partners...

We have already lost too many to this same stale petty pretentious ego nonsense.  Jez, please, if you are out there still looking in, please chime in dude!!!!!  Ah misses you very much!!!!!!!!  And Chris would very much enjoy meeting you.  Ah guaranteez it!!!!!

Starmonkey's picture

i suppose when someone unententionally because they despise "proper" grammar and punctuation uses all lower case interspersed with bits of capital thrown in it sounds like somone is yelling at certain points.  excuse the perfidy.  i think it may have been meant to draw attention not yell.  and to keep one's "i" small in reference to other "is".  and tactfully not using names to not be pointing fingers because that's unpolite and too direct for how "humans" are supposed to communicate.  in fact, stop pointing fingers AT ALL, because that's one of the three BEST TRICKS of all beyond all of this other "he said, she said" crap, is the three great lies of SHAME, GUILT, and BLAME.  and then juxtaposing those three with other lies to cover them up by pretending to be sweet to one another's faces or sidle up next to people and things we like, but then when we think we're alone (ha) we make all kinds of judgments on one another and what each other is doing and "think" we know the right answer for everyone.  or why is that person behaving like an asshole and they should be punished!  caught right onto that sick merry-go-round, didn't we?  lets.....  fight the enemy!  get them!  they are responsible for YOUR problems.  what?  and the onion said that "smiling now primarily used to communicate anger".  with that out of the way...

we know what happened to jez.  NOA happened to jez.  i've read past postings where the members weren't too sensitive to have removed their posts or disappeared.  things said in the MOMENT.  having a certain weight of "truth" to them.  be unafraid to share thy thoughts AND feelings, fellow travelers!  we are all tourists here, sharing the space, visiting with one another.  hey?!  that's like "church", isn't it?  whoa.  this ground is SACRED.  and, i prefer to use the word WHOLY, instead of hole-y.  we should tread lightly on one another's HEARTS.  because some of us aren't just sharing our minds here.


Starmonkey's picture

and, truth be told, anyone when faced with the role of playing the trickster or devil's advocate has to do some outrageous, even ludicrous things.  the koan.  struck upside the head with one's shoe.  if that element of humor or light-heart-edness is lost.  wo to us.  trying to get people to pay attention to THEMSELVES.  shouldn't seem like such a hard task, eh?  oh, but there are so many bright things to see!  and bright thinks to "do".  never mind the landscape and immediate environment!  i want to be...  elsewhere!  the general topic behind all topics?  home.  family.  where are they?  who are they?  what do you associate with or "claim" as "yours"?  LOOK around you, right now.  what is your world?  what have you fashioned and placed and helped to create and foster?  my own world seems questionable to me.  like there is some question there waiting to be answered.  all the pieces seem to be in place and there seems to be potential there to realize...  something.  why do i wait?  for whom am i waiting, if not my SELF?  my TOTAL self?  parzifal, the "perfect fool" had no preconceptions or misconceptions about the question, the RIGHT question to ask.  to a complete "stranger" or "other" and a member of a supposed other caste (another great lie, for the court).  he spoke to this "other" as to a friend/comrade (equal?) or family member treated with the utmost respect, because of his humanity and treated with reverence because of his resposibility and experience and most of all, his SUFFERING.  because it is seen that the "king" is a mortal and subject to pain and possibly "death", just like the rest of us.  but percival sees someone in pain and asks the pertinent question "what ails you, my king?  why do you suffer so?".  and it is like a "veil" is pulled from the king's eyes and he can finally see the origin of the state of it all.  for a true king is the land and its peoples as much as he is a man.  and a true king venerates and supports the power and wisom of WOMAN, if he is true.  and consults it and its feelings before taking action.  and doesn't subjugate those powers that are HERS, to his ends.  and, vise versa.  the QUEEN shouldn't pretend to be a man in a "man's world".  she should take her rightful power and position, and the KING should uphold this.  role reversal just doens't work.  sure, we can go beyond metaphors to actualities (i use those terms juxtaposed) and see that our potential as complete HUMAN BEINGS far exceeds the current limitations placed upon it, when we finally choose our reality FULLY.  then we can experience each and all or whatever we choose, but with no inhibitions, but also no misconceptions.

given the choice, i would rather embrace my "enemies" or "others" or "opposition" than strike them.  i've played that stupid game way too much already and my arm is really aching/sore.  aeons i've played it, and despite (once again!...  yawn) what "they" (we) say, it DOES get old.  so very old

Noa's picture

Starmonkey, your mocking, disrespectful tone is totally out of line.

What I object to is not your point of view, but the way you present your way as the only way as if it's the absolute truth while being condescending to people who don't agree with you.  I'm beginning to think that you're a paid shill.  You're sure good at sabbatoging topics with non-related nonsense.  (How Chris Bowers can come to your defense is beyond me.)

If ever I've misunderstood you, Starmonkey, it's because sometimes it's hard to follow your message through the poor grammar, spelling, and punctuation.  You often write in a stream of consciousness style as if the reader is inside your head.  It would help if you could try to be clearer.  A little editing goes a long way.

When I quote you "out of context" it's because I'm disagreeing with those particular statements.  Is it not okay to disagree with you?  I'm not trying to piss you off.

My introduction to the above video was not aimed at anyone in particular.  Rather it is was meant to be request that before we condemn something based upon a certain paradigm, we first look at it with an objective mind.  You don't have to agree it, just give it a fair chance before resorting to knee-jerk reactions and cliches.

When I comment or post, I choose my words carefully.  I try to avoid generalizations and absolutes and when I have an opinion I present it as such.  When I disagree with someone, I try to use the same care, though sometimes I fall short.  I'm sorry if I've offended anyone here with my delivery at any time.  It's my nature to speak my mind; I don't intend to offend anyone.  I'm not trying to sound like an authority; I just have above-average writing skills and vocabulary. It was my major in college, guys.  It's the way I speak.  Sometimes I wonder if my words would get the same negative reaction if they were presented by a man.

Since no one has come to my defense, let me say that I don't deserve these daggers being thrown my way.  For everyone's sake, can we curb the insults, please?




Starmonkey's picture

well, i don't disagree with any of yours, noa.  they are YOURS, after all.  and i claim mine, as mine.  and it's really too bad we didn't take this somewhere else so people wouldn't have to witness it.  the utter humanity!  we should start listening to ourselves and act like we know what language is supposed to be for or where it could possibly take us since things were so much better in a land far away or a time long ago.  i've wondered if you are a "plant" as well.  i know i am, because i love the sun and it fills me with energy to LIVE.  and i also know that there is nothing so scary as a CLOSED MIND or an unwavering viewpoint.  of course our ideas/thoughts/feelings change and so is our world constantly.  in motion.  moving around.  this isn't a "bad" thing.  and so our major interfacialinformationgatherers are constantly subjected to change, but our brain resists.  we've been taught that change isn't safe, and so we batten down the hatches.  what a ludicrous idea.  guess what's on your doorstep?  me!  if you want to stop cutting off the MIND with your brain, IT is waiting.  then all will be CLEAR.  the toneless tone.  carrying the you that is the "I AM" floating through it ALL, unperturbed.  and then you can actually DEAL with it.  step into the ring or up to the plate and have NOTHING TO FEAR.  because you are whole and connected to all and PEERLESS unless you choose to gaze into one of the many colorful and shining mirrors floating about you.  then you will behold another "I AM" which is another "you"...

ChrisBowers's picture

for others to witness it.  You keep on keepin' on in spite of anyone disagreeing with your style or approach, wonderfully and creatively wording how and what you see, what you don't see.  It would seem there is always going to be at least one person here playing "self-appointed hall monitor".

Oh the heavy weight they must carry - so much to do, so many to control and advise, so little success, so much personal frustration - "but I'm just trying to love the world into submission to the truth I am so well aware of!"  "why do so many people keep hating me and shunning me for that?"

Not even Fred presumes to be in charge like that!  But we tried sending others like Riversong on their way away from our little fragile peaceful serene group and many left because of that, so the real trick will be for any concerned to simply allow for these Riversongs - to use the peaceful non-compliance asymmetrical approach that Clif High speaks of so eloquently.  If the Riversongs of the world can make us leave, then we are certain and destined to keep running into it again and again until we can be at peace with their presence.  Such a difficult lesson to learn, but so obviously the recurring task at hand.

To no longer combat them, but to ignore the petty bullying and transcend so as to not be put off one's train of thought by such ego nonsense.  It's a distraction that goes nowhere, and it's such tired and worn out territory, the petty ramblings and rationalizations of left brain ego.

There are obviously so much better places to be and feel, regardless of the provocative invitations of the anyone who would presume to be in charge of any group or discussion.  We need only to remember that no matter how much they may be convinced of their alleged authority, we need not be...

And again Jez, if you are out there somewhere, just want you to know that you are one of the best things that ever happened to this group...

Starmonkey's picture

thanks, man.  but don't worry.  i take nothing (and EVERYTHING) personally nor do i really let it effect the way i roll.  that's what i posted the specific info on myself for.  people can use their "intuitive" skills to see that i'm not bsing.  i am true to who i am.  it's what makes the whole charade so painful for me.  it could be such fun, but i have to be an asshole because people don't listen anymore.  they just talk.  talk talk talk.  talking heads all over the place.  playing at being little judges of this and that and one another's character.  when the "truth" of the matter is that practically none of them can judge character, nor do they act or interact appropriately in response to the RIGHT authority.  alas.  what a cross to bear.  and i'm just a partial, already outdated model.  our friends just had a baby girl born 1/31/14 at 9:11 in the morning in lafayette (french word), CO.  look out world.  "look out!" to her parents...  if she wasn't only a couple of months old, i'd turn HER loose on this site.  hopefully she's brought up well and allowed to express her truth of being.  i'll do everything in my power to make sure that world can benefit from her shared perspective and being.  but, if your closet's not clean, this one will have a go at it and nothing you THINK or SAY will hide from her the truth of her design/pattern.

i'm gonna go on for awhile and explore things in a different (for me) way.  in two months, the wife and i are saying "goodbye" to obligations and ties and putting all of our stupid possessions in storage and hitting the open road for a month+ beyond...  who knows?  it's been 9 years in the making, since we met.  we have a dream that everyday life seems to be inhibiting somewhat, so we need to get out of all of the boxes and adventure.  explore the unknown.  see some amazing sites and sights...  aaahhh.

what are we looking for?  yeah, the obvious illusion...  HOME.  it's where the heart is once we choose it to be, but we're going out there anyway.  gonna go meet some more family and friends.  connect to the world.  reclaim our power.

i'll be off and, contrary to some approaches to this miasma/milieu, i won't be peeking in.  i WILL be here, in SPIRIT, should anyone want to connect.  and, unless censorship runs its rampant course from an "unlikely" source, everything should be alright here.  if my profile still exists after today, feel free to strike up a conversation based on the free sharing of thought/feelings/ideas.  i still remain of service to the WHOLE.  should you, however, wish to continue spitting nasty venom my way, perhaps you didn't see the uraeus on my forehead.  you WILL NOT WIN that battle.  you play at being the judge.  I AM THE JUDGE.  it wasn't "my choice", but then again, i guess it was...

peace and love to all and thank you to fred for being the midwife/medium/mediator on this forum and thank you to ALL of you for your insights and p.o.v.s and dreams and experiences and ideas and, well, for YOU.  i couldn't have been ME without YOU!  ;)

play friendly out there, eh?  we don't want to have to take the toys away until EVERYONE is ready.  and then we'll invent some new, more cooperative games and undertakings...

esrw02's picture

      Do what you feel is right, do not buy into it !!!   We have a lot of work to do !


   Love all<> Eric

Trish's picture

Dear Chris (Starmonkey) and Noa,

I want to share my impressions with both (all) of you, understanding that they are *my* impressions and that a large part of how I feel about what is going may be a reflection of my own unresolved issues, in addition to what might truly be going on for you and others on the board. So please take the following as what is coming up for me, and feel free to add to that by sharing what is coming up for you.

Dear Chris,

I deeply respect how you speak your mind and heart in your own way. Sometimes when I read your words, I feel you more than understand you mentally, because your words take on a metaphorical stream-of-consciousness quality, and sometimes you use cultural and/or historical references that I haven't been exposed to. I appreciate that, and somehow just by getting the 'perfume' of what you're saying, it goes past the verbal and touches me in a deeper place.

What has puzzled me is why you are choosing to lash out at Noa in several different threads, while in the same breath talking about respecting and nurturing life.

I sense that you have a lot of anger and frustration towards Noa that has built up to a bursting point, and now you are freely allowing that to come out, because you want express yourself truthfully. But I don't know if you see how divisive and hurtful your comments are, and how they embody the opposite of what you say you desire - transformation, joy, gratitude, and abundance. 

What comes up for me is a collective sense of hurt, discomfort, pain, and anger. From a past history in this forum that I haven't been a part of, into the present. I believe that every member here desires to belong, to connect, to inspire, to help each other, to make a difference, to learn, to discern truth, to have fun, to share. Everyone does this in their own way, and invariably we 'bump into' each other, and those collisions, left unaddressed, cause division and pain.  

Dear Noa,

From you I have a sense that you deeply care about the people in this community and what you are sharing; that you are very disturbed by the state of the world as it is, and you want to help make a difference. I deeply respect your desire to share your wisdom and your sense of responsibility and loyalty with the community.

The way I see it, you share things from a lot of different subjects so that people can inform themselves and act accordingly. I also see that you are concerned that people will take a passive armchair approach and fail to take concrete action in their lives, so you do what you consider to be your duty in challenging people not to be trapped by idealistic thinking, but to recognize the stark realities. But I also see where people are trying to reach out to you and say, yes, I see the stark reality, but I also see things differently. In these cases, I think, people are not trying to change your mind, but rather are wanting to establish a sense of connection with you by explaining their opinion, so both sides can acknowledge and appreciate the others' point of view. I get the sense that a number of people have felt 'pushed' by you to see things the way you see them, and in that way have felt that they can't share their truth as freely and feel respected in turn. 

I truly hope that the two of you come to a peaceful resolution and that maybe a beautiful transformation may arise from this. From the depths of my heart, I breathe sacred love with the members of the Gathering Spot; past, present, and future - for we are all connected by the impressions that we have made here over the years and that we will continue to make.

I love you all, and I hope to do what I can to invite healing, transformation, and grace into this community. May I be bold enough to speak my mind and my heart, and humble enough to admit when I have presumed to be in a higher state of 'knowing' than another and apologize. Please, if I ever offend or hurt any of you in any way, talk to me and tell me what is coming up for you!

Love, Trish

esrw02's picture

      I appreciate you posting this it makes sense and I think they both need to hear it from people who care . I know they will work it out . I am grateful for you Noa and Chris we will make it work and all learn from each other .  We are all one !!!!!!


           Love all <> Eric

Wendy's picture

Thanks for that Trish.


onesong's picture

Transformation=to change something completely and often in a good way; to change in composition or structure; to change the outward form or appearance of; to change in character or condition : convert;  to cause (a cell) to undergo genetic transformation

Team= a group of people who compete in a sport, game, etc., against another group; (or) a group of people who work together.
Transformation Team=a group of people who work together to change something completely in composition, structure, outward appearance causing a genetic transformation.
Though we may not agree with each other's individual philosophy of life, religion, belief system or any other topic that comes up, we come together in this place to promote free thinking, free will and freedom from judgement and personal bias and to SHARE.  
This hasn't always happened here (and isn't happening at all in many other places) but it was the 'draw' for me. To be a part of something that makes people think differently than when they arrived here and change our world even if it seems to be one baby step at a time.  When I come here to catch up and all I see is in-bickering I realize how far we have to go yet.
I wonder what happened to breathing sacred love into everything we do.  If what you have posted does not promote understanding and only harbors fear and distrust is it transformational? If your post is to simply criticize someone that chooses to promote an idea that you disagree with is it transformational?  If your posts do more to make you 'look' enlightened and informed than to assist others in achieving enlightenment as well is it transformational?
Come on people, be the change.  You are part of the problem or part of the solution.  No matter what anyone here has to say, I choose not to argue with you.  I choose sacred love and I choose to send it with all the power that rests within us.  I Love you. I won't argue with you. We are both right. It is all a matter of perspective and all perspectives are valuable tools for transformation. 
What is the ending to the caterpillar is a new beginning to the Master.  
Mitakuye Oyasin. To all my relations.

I moved this comment from the Boeing 777 thread since this one seems more active.

As one who hasn't made comments in a while I will throw some in.

I stayed out mostly because I lost interest which has nothing to do with anyone on this site now or in the past.

This discussion (the missing plane) makes me think of a bumper sticker I haven't yet made, stating:

"So many assumptions, so little time"

Just keep practicing love for all creation and the vibrations of love and inclusiveness will overcome the anger, hatred, greed and lust for power which seems to drive the dark forces of the planet.  When we rage and fight back in anger, we reinforce the dark forces, so, our discipline may be to practice love at times when anger wells up within us.  Using Ho'oponopono at these times is a help.

Another factor in not being around is that I didn't seem to have much to contribute. I did make a few posts which drew almost no comments and that may well be that they were quite ignorable.  I gained much from the course and it helps me to balance all this crazy news we get daily.

A website you all may be interested in:

You are all wonderful, just keep at it.

Starmonkey's picture

hey all.  sorry for my tirade, there.  got frustrated when i watched some of that video and heard the very things that NOA said were there.  it seemed to me there was a "looky here, looky here!" thing going on, but no follow through.  oh well, i wasn't being facetious or satirical when i posted those times of that video, they really were exact examples of the very issues of our shared dilemma.  but then i got high.  here in colorado, cannabis is legal.  i was a little pumped up about stuff...  anyway, my inhibitions were gone and i was writing stream of consciousness as it came to me...  sorry i got somewhat pointed here and there, but i did mean it all, from some part of myself.  it happened in a flurry and i was left quite dazed and shell-shocked after it all.  sort of threw my hand on the table, there.  been feeling on the edge of some abyss or crisis lately.  so, i'm going to deal with myself, like i said.  really a lot of that, while being reflective, was meant for me from myself.  others may reflect how they will, but it's about what i do with it...  thanks for the few caring comments submitted in the midst and aftermath of it all.  i hope this will allow y'all to pick up the pieces and sort them all out.  i do have a hard time communicating what i feel about the world, and it gets frustrating when i feel i'm not being heard or no one cares or understands.  but i guess we all have that challenge with expressing ourselves in the world.  just need to find the team that will benefit from my shared brand of craziness.  i've been joking with myself lately that i'm the boy who kicked the hornet's nest and kept kicking the shit out of it even while enraging the hornets and being stung.  i should know better and at least know when to call it quits with some behaviors...


Wendy's picture

Thanks for that Chris,

It's way easier to listen to you now. I tend to ignore or skip the tirades but I understand your anger - it is a stupid system were all stuck in right at the moment. We can and will make it better.


Trish's picture

Thank you very much for sharing, Chris. Ever since reading your post, I've had Afroman running through my head. Na na nana na na na :-)

I totally understand about needing to get your thoughts out; I've been there lots of times. When I was going through the TC, the course journal became ridiculously long because I typed out such huge streams of consciousness after every lesson (and Fred was so patient to read it all!) 

I've found that when a particular person (like my mother-in-law, for instance) gets me really worked up and upset, it has much more to do with something within myself than with the other person. Maybe there really is a problem there that could be resolved, but the strong reaction to it is all coming from me. Most of the time, when I really dig into the feelings that arise and breathed sacred love with them, it turns out that the thing that is bothering me is some kind of reflection of myself that I'm either not admitting to myself, not accepting, or both.

It was embarrassing and humbling for me to realize that I was holding onto a past idea of my mother-in-law, and for all I knew, she could now be a completely different person, and I would be holding a grudge with a ghost. If she did change, would I even let her? Or would I ignore her generious actions and only pay attention to behaviour that confirmed my negative opinion of her?

That's one amazing thing that the Transformation Course taught me; every challenge that arises, every negative emotion, is a huge invitation for self-discovery and transformation.

I could be wrong, and let me know if I am; a similar situation could be happening between you and Noa.

Don't run away just yet; maybe you are already part of the team that benefits from your shared brand of craziness! We're all in this together, trying to figure out how to make unity work with individuated consciousness, and each with our own perspectives and struggles to muddy the waters. Maybe we can all just work more at nurturing each other and making sure we each feel accepted, heard, and appreciated.

Peace and love,


esrw02's picture

   Chris, she has a good point , stick around we are all in this together .


      Love all <> E

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