Older  Woman:  Is there a problem, Officer?   
Officer:  Ma'am, you were speeding. 
Older Woman: Oh, I see.
Officer: Can I see your license please?
Older Woman: I'd give it to you but I don't have one.
Officer: Don't have one?
Older Woman: Lost it, 4 years ago for drunk driving.
Officer: I see...Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.
Older Woman: I can't do that.
Officer:  Why not? 
Older  Woman:  I stole this car. 
Officer:  Stole it? 
Older  Woman:  Yes, and I killed and hacked up the  owner. 
Officer:  You what? 
Older  Woman:  His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see  
The  Officer looks at the  woman and slowly backs away to his car and calls  for back up.  Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior  officer  slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.  
Officer 2: Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle please! The woman steps out of her vehicle.
Older woman: Is there a problem sir?
Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.
Older  Woman:  Murdered the owner?  
Officer  2:  Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car,  please. 
The  woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty  trunk.  
Officer  2:  Is this your car, ma'am? 
Older  Woman:  Yes, here are the registration papers. 
The officer is quite  stunned.  
Officer  2:  One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license.  
The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch  purse and hands it to the officer. 
The officer examines the  license. He looks quite puzzled.  
Officer  2:   Thank you ma'am, one of my officers told me you didn't have a   license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked  up  the owner. 
Older  Woman:  Bet the liar told you I was speeding,  too.  
Don't Mess With Mature Ladies
If you want to brighten someone's day, pass this on to someone you know.
