Internal Family Systems therapy -- what do you think?

[If you're not familiar with IFS, Wikipedia has an introductory article to get you up to speed.]

Recently I listened in on an Inner Critic phone call seminar that was an introduction to how the IFS model works as I was interested in doing some more work in this area.  I've been using cannabis here and there to quiet my inner critic and it works pretty well as a temporary "sedative" for my critic, but the problem is it only lasts for a few hours, and usually prompts overeating.   I've been trying to find a healthier way to deal so that I can get back to some of the musical activities I used to enjoy.

I'm turning 55 this month, and I don't mind telling you I've tried lots of different therapeutic approaches to deal with my inner critic, none of which have been effective.  I've had a bit of a chip on my shoulder about this, too, because of all the money I've spent, and all the therapists who naturally pin the blame on me because I didn't "do the work" or whatever, and take little or no responsibility for their incompetence.

What struck me as different with IFS is you don't look at all these "parts" of yourself as something to attack or get rid of, they are instead "protectors" that took over the job of shielding you from certain actions that might bring up exiled parts of yourself that contain a lot of trauma and "stuff," and deserve to be appreciated.  In the phone call I listened to, the therapist acted as a kind of counselor or coach while the client invited all these different parts of herself that were troubling her to a big table.  When these protectors were able to relax when they are honored, the exiled parts can come out and you can start doing the real work of clearing out all these negative beliefs and other painful traumas so that your authentic Self can come to the lead position and the "protectors" can retire into the background.

The result of this session was that when I was in bed that night getting ready to sleep, I thought about the session and started reflecting on sending some love to my "protectors".  I was rather shocked when a deep feeling of release started coming up, and I actually even shed a few tears which is very unusual for me -- this from only one fifteen minute IFS session that wasn't even intended for me!  This is more relief than I have received from other therapists that I have actually spent thousands of dollars on.

Anyway, I was wondering if anyone her at the G-Spot has had any IFS experiences they would like to share as I am seriously thinking about investing the $230 for the six week group class which I think is a steal, really.  Even though I am seriously low on money right now, I have to say I am excited about finding a therapeutic approach that actually works, and I will find some way to pay for this.

Trish's picture

Hi Greg,

Thanks for sharing this; I would like to try this with myself the next time I'm feeling angry with myself for being 'stuck' in fear, inaction, or habit. I could see it as being a very healing experience to instead take the perspective that the 'stuckness' is actually a form of protection. It would take a lot of self-judgement out of the equation.

It sounds like the technique resonated with you, so you probably have an idea intuitively whether this course is right for you at this time.

Trish

fredburks's picture

Great stuff, Greg. I've found dialogue with the conflicting inner parts of myself to be very useful. I actually had a huge breakthrough around sexuality and relationships using this technique a number of years ago. If you are interested, I wrote an essay about this. It's the third item at the link below. I wish you all the best with your explorations!

http://www.inspiringcommunity.org/inspiringstories0210

Noa's picture

Derek Scott, a licensed IFS therapist, has put together a self-help video for those who can't afford a therapist or whose problem can be resolved with self-work. 

Part 1  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NXimi-OP0M8

Part 2  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pt3nJD3C_ZY

Part 3  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6wA5sLq5E-o

You can find a list of IFS practitioners at Derek's website:  http://www.selfleadership.org/about-internal-family-systems.html

GregH3000's picture

I appreciate all the feedback and useful suggestions.  Many thanks!

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