A Life Changing Dream

My Dear Friends,
I would like to share this very important dream I had with you, because I realize that this was a Life changing experience for me. At least I have never viewed my life the same since this happened. I also accept that this was something I had to realize at that point in my life. It was as tho I was ready to experience what this was and the changes that followed this event. I am very thankful that I was given this knowledge. At the time it was frightening because of the ramifications it held for me. I can tell you however, that it was nothing compared to the prison I had been in within myself for the previous thirty years of my life.
Carl Azcar

 A Life Changing Dream Experience 


This story involves the very vivid dream I had many years ago. A dream that was so real that it has stayed etched in my memory ever since. I have difficulty remembering now exactly what year this happened.  I do remember that I was alone in bed, so it must have been after my wife and I separated in 1985. In many ways that is not as important as the event itself, because the dream is now part of my memory bank.


"I was asleep, when I suddenly found myself walking down a road that passed through a small settlement. I call it a settlement because it is rather difficult to describe. First of all the color or lack of it meant that everything I saw was a very depressing, dull blue gray color. it was like the last moments of twilight before darkness sets in. There were heavy low clouds that covered this entire scene. There was no wind or movement of anything. It was like everything was in a state of mournfulness.


The road was not paved but was more like a wagon trail. The trees on each side of the road were dark and lifeless, and here and there between the trees there were small clap-board huts. Each seemed to have a door but I saw no windows. And in front of several of the huts, people sat on the ground, there bodies covered with dark monk like cloaks, with hoods that covered their heads. And they all sat motionless with their heads bowed down, and did not look at me as I passed. I made no gesture or words to anyone. I felt I was just passing through and I remember wondering, "Why are they just sitting there, why don't they want to leave this place? I didn't find it scary or threatening, I just knew I wanted to continue on my journey.


I was dressed in very ordinary clothes and was wearing a medium weight jacket. I passed through this settlement and continued walking. As I left the settlement I came to a tide flat area and could see that the road was approaching a very large body of water. The road continued along very near the waters edge, and as I walked it not only got much darker but I could see the wind and the water of the sea were becoming more storm like. The further I walked the more ferocious the wind and the waves became. Huge waves began crashing against the beach to my right and a high cliff loomed over me on the left, and I felt suddenly that I might be washed away by the huge waves that were crashing about me.


The road that I had started on was now much more narrow and instead of being straight, I realized I was walking  in a long continual curve to my left. At the height of the storm I could suddenly perceive a glow in the far distance. And because the road was curved, the further I walked the brighter the glow became. I remember that my one objective was to get to the source of the light, and I walked for what seemed many miles towards that place that existed somewhere in the distance. The closer I got the brighter this light became, and then the road seemed to come to an end.  I knew I had to keep going towards the light, so I climbed up a rocky path on the side of the cliff and as I made my way I looked down now at the sea of water below me. The waves began to subside, and suddenly I could see the reflection of of the light on the waves.  The further I journeyed the more calm the waters became and the brighter the light was that I was going towards. And then the water became as a mirror and the light reflecting off it was almost blinding and still I could not see the source of it. And I can still see in my mind when I climbed over a large rock formation and could finally see a glimpse of the source of this great light. To start with I could only see the edge of this, and it was like looking at a huge mountain made of Crystal. I was born in the shadow of Mount Rainier and this huge Crystal seemed at least that big, and I was only at one corner of it. As I moved to a better view it was as tho I could not see the end of it either to the right or left and the height was beyond my vision.


It seemed to be surrounded by water that was so clear and still that the reflection of this huge mountain of Crystal was reflected in it. And the Crystals that made up this mountain were of every color one can imagine, and they were all clear like glass, and I just stood there in awe for what seemed several minutes as I tried to comprehend what this was before me.


As I journeyed further towards this great light, my path revealed that below me there was a bridge that spanned from where I was to this crystal mountain surrounded by water. Now, this was no ordinary bridge, it was like a single arch that literally flowed from one side to the other. And the side which I was on started like a smooth deck in the shape of a fan that gracefully became more narrow as one walked over this arch. And as I approached the bridge deck I suddenly realized that other people of every description were approaching from other paths and roads over which they had journeyed. And we were all drawn like a magnet to this bridge and the huge structure that was before us. And I realize I did not relate to anyone else and no one related to me as I walked across that beautiful span, and I must tell you that I am sure that the arch we all walked across was made of pure gold, and the length was at least one half mile, possibly more. And all of us were completely mesmerized by what we were seeing. There are no words I know of that can accurately describe what this was.


As this crowd quietly walked to the far side of the span, the arch came to rest, again in a fan typed deck of inlayed marble which was a large open area like a plaza. On the far side of this plaza there were small archways that entered this huge crystal structure, and I just followed my own inclinations where I should go. What had been a large crowd of people just dispersed into this huge building,. mountain... (I don't really know what to call it).


What I found when I entered was a small reception area (rest area). I was immediately approached by a lovely young woman dressed in a 3/4 length tunic type robe. She asked me if I would like something refreshing to drink. I said yes, I would. I took a seat at a small side table. She brought me a stem glass of a liquid that looked like apricot juice. the taste was like nothing I can describe but was very delicious and very refreshing. When I had rested for a few minutes, I left this area and entered a very large hall way. This passage way was very wide, several hundred feet, and had a height that was supported by the most beautiful arched ceiling I could ever imagined. I have always loved the style of a gothic arch and these were at least twenty stories high. The length of this hall way was longer than I could see.


As I walked down the hallway I became aware that people were entering doorways on my right side. As I passed one of these arched doorways I could hear beautiful music playing, so I entered. It was a beautiful auditorium in the round with a slightly raised stage in the center, where a symphony orchestra was playing. It was not music I can say I was familiar but the sound was absolutely wonderful. After a short time the piece ended. There was a very polite applause, then several musicians put down their instruments and took seats in the audience, and several people in the audience went up to the stage and took their places in the orchestra. And after a few more minutes, the music started again.


I felt compelled to investigate further, so I left this auditorium, and continued down this very large hall way. I came to a second area of arched doorways and so I entered. Do you know what a second take is? Like in a movie when you look into something and in a comical way, you come back out and then look in again to believe what you have seen. I laugh at myself every time I think about this, because it was like I couldn't believe what I was seeing. I had just walked into an auditorium that was as big as a foot ball stadium. The seating was curved around a small side stage, on stage right. Behind and across to stage left was a huge viewing screen. A man was standing on this small stage and lecturing about the Cosmic order. Everything he said was perfectly audible, and everything he talked about came to life in three dimension on the screen behind and to his left. The screen was much larger than any movie screen I have ever seen, and the visual effects were as if you were actually there in the picture. I don't remember too much about what was actually being said because I found this such an awesome experience just to see it. I did not stay very long because again I felt compelled to understand why I was there. I again entered the large hallway.


I had walked only a short distance when a young man approached me. He had shoulder length blond hair and was wearing a 3/4 length tunic with a sash around his waist. He smiled and said, Carl, I've been expecting you.

I shook his hand, and really didn't know what to say. He then asked if he could see me in a small side room off the hallway. I said, "yes," and he guided me to a smaller arched doorway on the left side of the hall.


In this room there was a large marble pedestal which held a very large book. The book was tastefully ornate, appeared to be leather bound and looked quite old. There were what appeared to be parchment type pages and the book was quite thick. It was lying opened on the pedestal. This young man stood on the open side of the book which was slightly slanted upward. I was facing him from the front side and could not actually see what was on the pages. He must have sensed my question. He said, "Carl, this is the record of your life. It contains everything your life has contained, every thought, word, and deed you have performed." I was startled, I said, "Did you say everything?" And with the most compassion I have ever experienced, he looked straight at me and said, "Yes Carl, everything."


In the next moment I was lying fully awake in my bed, and my heart was pounding. For a moment I had to realize  what was real. I had just been in a real place and was talking to a real person and suddenly I was awake in my own bedroom. I lay there for a very long time pondering what I had just experienced. I realize that nothing I had been through was threatening to me in any way. the young man who had just moments before addressed me did so with true compassion and understanding. What I realize frightened me about this was the fact that I came face to face with my own reality, and that was a very startling thing to experience. I guess the main question I must ask myself is, has this helped me, has this experience made a difference in my life. Yes, of course it has, and why, because I knew I had to confront the lie I was living with, and I sensed from that time on that it was just a matter of time before the final confrontation would have to take place. It was not long after this that I was charged and sentenced to an eight year federal prison sentence."


This is the first time I have ever written this all out. I guess it comes out longer than I had expected. I do not know how much of this is absolutely true, and how much might be symbolism. I do not know if there is an actual place that fits the description I have given. I can tell you it was very real to me. I also realize that the entire journey was very rich in symbolism, and I would like someday to understand what all of that meant. Yes, I feel I have a pretty good idea what it is, and have had since it happened, but I have no way to validate this, and I feel unsure to trust my own impressions.


All that I can say is, it is a part of my past. Perhaps it was nothing more than a very dramatic forecast of what I was going to face for the mistakes I had made. I thank God that this ordeal is now over. I have served my time and I am at peace, because I know I do not ever have to live the lie again. 

With God's Love and Blessing,


Carl Azcar






penny_stone's picture

Thanks so much, Carl, for sharing your dream with us ~ it was amazing! It's an almost overwhelming idea that ALL of our thoughts, deeds, and words are recorded for all eternity. It just shows us how responsible we need to be in controlling what we think about, what we say, and what we do/don't do. I am really working hard on more closely monitoring my thoughts to make sure they are loving, kind, and compassionate.

Love & light,
Penny :-)

Carl-Azcar's picture

Dear Penny,

Thank you for reading my dream and the comments you made about this. This experience took place about two thirds or twenty years into the thirty year journey I was making at that point of my life. This was truly a forecast of the consequences I had to face for some things that had gone terribly wrong in my life.

How important our choices are. One improper decision can set into place consequences that will effect not only our own life but the lives of others for many years, perhaps even lifetimes, in the future. Yes, how important our choices are. I have come to realize that what I say and do effects not just me, but others as well, because we are all part of the same wholeness which is God itself.

I will not live in fear, but rather I must be guided by both Wisdom and Unconditional Love. My time serving out my prison sentence was, for me, a time of Transformation – a time of renewal.

I thank God every day for that chance to make amends, to confront the "lie" I had been living in my life. My Spirit Guides were my constant companions throughout this whole process, so I realize that all the help we need is there, only we must respond to it.

With God's Love and Blessing's,

Carl Azcar

Max's picture

Thank you, Carl, for sharing your beautiful "dream". So much for all of us to ponder. Until each of us sits down and really takes a good look, we are not going to see where we just might be living a lie. It was so easy to excuse those "little, insignificant" ones.

We are learning and growing by leaps and bounds. One of those leaps taught me that there is no such thing as a little insignificant "fact". There is no greater or lesser degree of "missing the mark. Thank you once again, Carl.

Carl-Azcar's picture

Dear Max,


For me it was inevitable that I would have to pay for the mistakes I made. I am thankful for getting that taken care of even tho I had to go through the shame of the legal process and in the end the lose of my family as well. It is all behind me now. It is just a dark memory about something that happened over 20 years ago. I paid a very heavy price for the problems I caused. For that I take full responsibility.


My Spirit Guides have assured me that my debt for this is paid in full and I asked that I be able to do that so that I will not leave this life with a further debt on my record. Realize, that if this had not caught up with me, it would be still owing at this point in my life. Well, just like dealing with money. I like being debt free, and now I am.


Now, if I could just go back to that Crystal Mountain, I would sure like to stay longer this time.

Thank you for reading my Dream Story.


Carl Azcar 

davelambert's picture


I love the way you told of your dream and the way you made it tie in with your life path. I am becoming debt-free too as much as I can....baby steps at times, strides at others. Thanks for sharing.


Carl-Azcar's picture


Here it is a week later and I realize I did not respond to your comments.

I consider this dream experience to be one of the most important things that has happened in my life. It is now over twenty years since this happened and every aspect of that dream is as vivid in my mind as the night it happened. Yes, I call it a dream, but in many ways it was more than that, because when I woke up at the end of it, I had a hard time at first realizing where I was. I was lying on my back right in my own bed. and that was in no relationship to where I had been just the moment before.

I have since realized that the old wagon trail I was walking on was as tho I was journeying out of the hell I had been through in my life. I didn't even know where I was going, I just knew I wanted to leave that place. The fear I felt when I passed by the raging sea, seeing huge waves crash about me, was as tho I was walking through a terrifying barrier or something that was actually trying to block my way – and I was really very afraid I was not going to make it. And then I could see a faint glow in the far distance and I knew I had to keep going forward. Something deep inside of me assured me that that was the goal I was seeking.

My first sighting of the fulness of the huge crystal mountain that I had journeyed to is something I still find hard to describe, I can still see it in my minds eye, but I have no way to put it into words, I have no reference in my mind to adequately compare or describe what I was seeing, especially the colors which were more varied than anything I have ever seen. I was completely mesmerized by this, so much so that it took me a while to realize that hundreds of other people from every ethnic country I have ever heard of, were all experiencing this same effect as we slowly walked over the magnificent bridge that covered the water from one side to the other.

I assure you, it was an experience I will never forget. I wish everyone could have the privilege of see this for themselves.

Thank you for reading this,

Carl Azcar

davelambert's picture

I call it a dream, but in many ways it was more than that

I know exactly what you mean! Several elements in your dream are eerily similar to a dream that I had a long time ago- one that disturbed me greatly in some ways.

I asked myself once: Which is more real, a dream or a shadow?


UrsulaD's picture

Hi Carl,
Thank you for sharing your life-changing dream and your life experiences. It is wonderful that you could take the experiences, learn from them and put them behind you. To me, the important thing is to take responsibility for my actions, forgive myself and then move on.
I don't remember many dreams, like Dave, I wake up and they are gone. I used to have very bad nightmares as a child and I think I blocked off my dreams after that.
I do remember having a very vivid dream the night before my sister's and brother-in-law's funeral. I walked into a huge hall which was filled with people who had all come to attend the funeral. My sister was in a coffin which was set across two chairs, but she was sitting up, smiling and chatting to the numerous people surrounding her. I badly wanted to talk to her, but could not get near her. Then I saw my brother-in-law, Syd walking across the hall towards me. He was dressed in a suit and had a smile on his face. I rushed up to him and said, "Syd, what is it like on the other side?" He looked at me and said, "I am not allowed to tell you", grinned and walked off.
Thanks again Carl!
In Love, Light and Blessings

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