Installing Love

Installing Love

Customer Service: Can you install Love?

Customer: I can do that. Im not very technical, but I think I'm 
ready to install now.

What do I do first?

Service: The first step is to open your Heart.

Have you located your Heart?

Customer: Yes, I have, but there are several programs running right now.

Is it okay to install while they are running?

Service: What programs are running?

Customer: Let me see I have Pasthurt.exe, Lowesteem.exe, Grudge.exe and Resentment.com running right now.

Service:
No problem. Love will automatically erase Pasthurt.exe from your
current operating system. It may remain in your permanent memory, but
it will no longer disrupt other programs.  Love will eventually
overwrite Lowesteem.exe with a module of its own, called
Highesteem.exe. However, you have to completely turn  off Grudge.exe
and Resentment.com.  Those programs prevent Love from being properly
installed.

Can you turn those off?

Customer: I don't know how to turn them off.

Can you tell me how?

Service:
My pleasure. Go to your Start menu and invoke Forgiveness.exe. Do this
as many times as necessary until Grudge.exe and Resentment.com have
been completely erased.

Customer: Okay, I'm done. Love has started installing itself  automatically.

Is that normal?

Service: Yes it is. You should receive a message that says it will reinstall for the life of your Heart.

Do you see that message?

Customer: Yes I do.

Is it completely installed?

Service: Yes, but remember that you have only the base program.  You need to begin connecting to other Hearts to get the upgrades.

Customer: Oops! I have an error message already.

What should I do?

Service: What does the message say?

Customer: It says 'Error 412' Program not run on internal components.

What does that mean?

Service:
Don't worry, that's a common problem. It means that the Love program is
set up to run on external Hearts but has not yet been running on your
Heart. It is one of those complicated programming things, but in
non-technical terms it means that you have to 'love' your own machine
before it can love others.

Customer: So what should I do?

Service: Can you find the directory called 'Self-acceptance'?

Customer: Yes, I have it.

Service: Excellent, you are getting good at this.

Customer: Thank you.

Service:
You're welcome. Click on the following files and then copy them to the
'Myheart' directory: Forgiveself.doc,  Selfesteem.txt, Realizeworth.txt
and Goodness.doc. The system will overwrite conflicting files and begin
patching any faulty programming. Also, you need to delete
'Selfcriticize.exe' from all directories, and then empty your recycle
bin afterwards to make sure it is completely gone and never comes back.

Customer:
Got it! Wow! My Heart is filling up with really neat files. Smile.mpg
is playing on my monitor right now, and it shows that Warmth.com
Peace.exe and Contentment.com are copying themselves all over my Heart!

Service: Then Love is installed and running. You should be able to handle it from here.

One more thing before I go!

Customer: Yes?

Service:
Love is freeware. Be sure to give it and its various modules to
everybody you are meeting. They will in turn share it  with other
people, and they will return some really neat modules back to you.

Customer: I will. Thank you for your help.

Service: You're very welcome.

maryc's picture

Dear John,

I AM a novice at computers......but this I understand. Thank you for sharing this wisdom packaged as humor!

Love,Mary

ChrisBowers's picture

Wonderful analogy!!!!

thats really cool!.......

Thanks.....

Jez

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