When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her
somewhere expensive.... so, I took her to a gas station.....
.....and that's how the fight started....
After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for
Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my
driver's license to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realised
I had left my wallet at home. I told the woman that I was
very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later. The
woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'. So I opened my shirt revealing my
curly silver hair. She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof
enough for me' and she processed my Social Security application. When
I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social
Security office. She said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You
might have gotten disability, too! .....and that's how the fight
started.....
My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I
kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at
a nearby table. My wife asked, 'Do you know her?' 'Yes,' I sighed,
'She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking
right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't
been sober since.' 'My God!' says my wife, 'Who would think a person
could go on celebrating that long?' ....and that's how the fight
started....
I rear-ended a car this morning. So, there we were alongside the road
and slowly the other driver got out of his car. You know how sometimes
you just get soooo stressed and little things just seem funny? Yeah,
well I couldn't believe it.... he was a DWARF!!! He stormed over to my
car, looked up at me, and shouted, 'I AM NOT HAPPY!!!' So, I looked
down at him and said, 'Well, then which one are you?'......and that's
how the fight started.....