Now
it is you...
You are different
from the other queens,
I cannot say exactly how
but it is there,
and there
it
is!
You have that essence
that moves something
inside of me,
but it is very different
from the other times
I have encountered
someone
just
like
you.
Damn.
After all this seeking,
and all this finding,
why can't I
find myself
completely,
and be truly
authentic
in
and
to
myself?
This is a possible marker
that you have a piece
of my puzzle,
that you have the other half
of my key,
and I
the other half
of yours.
Do you feel
that same thing
that is calling you
to something more
than
what
you
feel
you
are?
Something that brings
a fear
and a passion
at the same time
that are equal
in thier potency?
If you are having
a panic attack
and at the same time
you feel bliss,
this means
that we have an agreement
of some kind.
It matters very little
what the nature of that
agreement
is,
it only really matters
that we do something,
that we address
this thing
that is,
that is with us.
Of course this thing
could lie
for endless more millenia,
but we want it resolved,
we wouldn't be doing this
if we did not
want to do
something!
So then,
at this point
I feel
it is up to you.
I have made myself clear
three times already.
You have got
to make the choice,
for there are only two more
opportunities.
It matters,
again,
very little
which choice
you ulitmately make.
It only matters to us
that you make a decision
and live with it,
because this is our core issue:
We have always waited
for you
to make the choice.
Now we have made our own choice
and we understand our issue:
It is difficult
to choose anything
because inevitably,
we leave something behind.
LEAVE IT BEHIND!
If it is old
in that particular way,
then it has no more place
with us,
now
and forever.
If it is new in that way
then there is only
the new space
that we create
for
that
new
energy.
Enough.
I am so tired
of this crazy bullsh!t.
You should give me a call
or back the fruck out,
because I'm in
for the entire game
and I don't have time
to waste
waiting
for you to decide
on your next strategy.
We have done this
so many times
and it's getting tiring:
Do you want
to be partnered
or not?
It could not be put
in more simple
and plain terms.
It is not a question
of eternal slavery
in the least:
This is not
that kind
of yoke,
as has been stated
already.
This is mutual agreement.
There is no substitution
for that kind
of love.
You cannot fake it.
You cannot cheat it.
You cannot pretend
that you are in alignment with it.
Well,
you could
do these things,
but "god",
whatever you believe her to be,
will become quite annoyed with you
and you will see
the results
you get
from cheating
on the only test
that ever mattered:
You could
get an "A"
for "Aliennation",
"Attachment",
or "All About Me".
Far more desirable
to get a well deserved "F"
for "Forgiveness",
"Falling in love",
"Fr-uck all that sh!t":
Fallibility.
"Failure"
is acceptable
to god.
Not like the "military-industrial complex",
the "babylon" reality,
where the slightest mistake
means worlds
of what we might call
"Karma".
In truth,
even that high level
of what we might think of
as balance
is still
a grand illusion.
Again, enough.
This has been made clear
over
and over
and over.
As [A wonderful ray of light] wizely stated:
We thought
that we were smarter
than "god".
This is impossible,
of course,
and led us
to the greatest distraction
that ever was:
The dream
of total
separation.
The only solution
to all of our situations
is the "Grand Paradox":
We are "god",
all of us,
and yet
we are completely
clueless
children.
Please,
come and be innocent with me.
I know
it is frightening,
but that is the only recourse
I have left
for this bitter
old
world:
To become the child
of my own heart
and yours,
and to fill the world
with that innocence.
The gem
of the mother
that I was
has now been lost
to time.
The only choice
is to become the child,
and this is not
only
for me!
When I find you,
finally,
and you agree
to make this choice with me,
that shall be
the undoing
into bliss.
Not only for our "small" beings,
but for the entire being
of all beings:
All
creation
as
one.
I was even given a date
for this undoing,
and in my older nature
I believed that would be
the day of my death.
It still could be.
But it matters only
which death
I choose
to see:
The death of that
which I Am,
or the death of that
which my fronts and dramas are.
We are all
being given
the same choice.
The only reason
that "God"
would ever put us together
is so we could more effectively
make
that
choice.
Transparancy
is something
that has been alien
to this world.
We are supposed
to create an impression
of that concept
through our partnership:
As above, so below;
As below, so be it above
as well.
Has this been expounded
to it's most sickening extent?
Never.
There are always more words
to speak
and to be written.
The thing is
that there is really no reason
to speak them.
It's all just reminders,
the cosmic string
around all of our cosmic fingers.
My question is,
do you want to merge with me,
in love,
eventually?
Such a pointless
query,
but yet,
the only one
that ever mattered:
Mind over matter,
heart over mind.
And she giggles,
and says
"No!",
and runs away,
but she doesn't really mean that.
She just means
that it is no
right now,
and that is sacred
because of the laughter.
When people become too Sirius,
that is when you know
they are not
paying
attention.
Only love exists
here
for you
now.
That is the only vow
that I have ever really made
and shall ever make
forever.
Despite all my twistings
of mind and heart,
I still can see
the pure intent
that lies
behind
your love.
Nothing at all
has any importance
except that this energy
be held.
It is
the only.
I hope I see you
with my true Ture eyes
once again,
tireless.